What The Hell Is This!
by MissDoubleONinja
Summary: I was in a dark room, wearing no shirt, and bound by duck tape. Wait….what? Warning: curse words and implied sex. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight. If I did, Yuuki would have died a painful death in vol. 1.

Warning: Pretty damn dirty. Nothing M rated, but still not for the innocent. Also, kinda OOCness here and there. Also, I have to give credit to SleeplessWonder. She inspired me to write this. Thanks dude!

* * *

I summed up the situation I was in.

I was in a dark room, wearing no shirt, and bound by duck tape. Wait….what?

How the hell did I get into this?

I thought back to what I remembered before all of this…

* * *

It was Valentine's day, the craziest day of the year.

I exited the sun dormitory to do my job of taking care of the attack of the crazed fangirls(or so I liked to call it.)

Well, I was a little late and Yuuki wasn't too happy about that. She bitched at me about not taking my job seriously and I yelled back, causing her to go sulk like a little kid. Didn't surprise me, really; I don't think she grew up a day past seven.

Then the vampire bitches came out of the moon dormitory and the girls started yelling, "Kyah!" like usual and thrust chocolate into the vampire's hands.

Then Kuran came out and despite my best efforts, I lightly blushed.

He walked over to me and smiled my favorite mischievous grin. "Hello Zero."

Ignoring the shiver that ran down my spine, I growled. "Hello Kuran." Then, without a word, I thrust a small blue box into his hands.

He examined it, a curious and playful smile playing on his lips. "This is from Yuuki, I assume?" He said lightly.

I scowled and nodded, happy not to correct him.

"What a sweet little messenger boy." He whispered seductively, playing with my hair and I felt my heart skip a beat.

still, as much as I enjoyed his touch, I did have my pride. I pushed his hand away reluctantly. "Don't touch me." I said with my most convincing growl.

He didn't look fazed, his grin growing. "Ohhh, scary Mr. Disciplinary committee." He said tauntingly.

He turned around and walked to class. Then he stopped and turned around. "Oh, and thanks for the chocolate." With that, he turned back around and left, leaving me embarrassed, confused, flustered and, most of all, pissed.

"Oh, Zeeeeeero!" I turned toward the annoying sing-song voice and came face-to-face with several day class girls, a scary obsessed look in their eyes. I instantly smelled a conspiracy.

"So what were you doing with Kaname Zero? You looked like you were enjoying it."

Oh damn, it's the yaoi fangirls! Out of all the fangirls, they were the ones sent here from hell. They do anything, and I mean anything, to get their favorite boy/boy couples together. I once walked in on one of their meetings. I still regret it to this day.

"What do you want?" I hissed.

"Oh Zero, don't play dumb! We know you want Kaname. So why don't you take him?"

"I don't want him!" Whether these girls realized it or not, they were entering dangerous territory.

"If you want, we'll give you a little push. All it takes is a bed and a locked door. We'll supply the rope and you can ride him like a cowboy!"

Ok, that was it. That was my limit. "Go back to the dorm, dammit!" I yelled, firing bullets in the air.

They left rather quickly after that.

As I was about to go on patrol, I felt someone stop me. "What were you doing with Kaname?" Yuuki asked, accusation in her voice.

"Nothing." I slapped her hand away and left.

She chased after me. "Zero! Hey, I'm still talking to you!"

"Fuck off!" I growled. "Go stalk someone else, why don't you!"

She glared. "I hate you Zero."

"Hate you too."

Tears forming in her eyes, she turned around and left. I snorted. She was such a little kid.

Suddenly, I felt someone press a cloth to my nose and mouth. "Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

"No it-wait, what?" That was the last thing I said before falling into the darkness.

* * *

So now I'm duct tapped in a dark room.

I'll bet it was those fangirls. Damn, I knew I smelled a conspiracy.

Suddenly, I saw a painfully bright flash as the lights turned on. I looked around. It was someone's room. Then the door opened and it was….Kaname?

He said nothing, just walked toward me. He bent down and before I knew it, he was kissing me! My eyes widened as I tried to pull away.

His lips left mine and he smirked. "You know you want this Zero." He whispered seductively, touching my cheek.

I growled, not pleased by the shivers of pleasure and excitement running up my spine.

But I couldn't take it. I needed him.

He picked up some rope and grinned. "You're good with horses, correct? Why not teach me how to ride?"

I finally gave in. "Class is in session"

* * *

I woke up next to Kaname.

I instantly remembered the hot, amazing night.

I smirked.

Those damn fangirls.

* * *

I looked at Kaname, then stared back at the computer screen in horror. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!"

"I believe it's called getting laid. Or fucked. Or sex. Whichever term you prefer." Kaname said lightly.

I growled. "Not amused, Kuran."

He smiled. "Well I am."

It was quiet for a moment. Then he spoke. "Do you want to, shall we say, follow their example?" He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

My face hardened. "No."

"Oh, come on Zero." He leaned closer and closer to me until we were practically hugging. "You know you want to." He seductively whispered in my ear.

"Stop copying the damn fanfiction!" I tried to make it sound angry, but it came out as more of a moan.

I couldn't see him, but I could practically feel the bastard smirking. "Let's get to those riding lessons, shall we?"

"Pervert!" I yelled, but he ignored me.

He moved down to my neck and began to kiss it.

I couldn't move. My body didn't want to move either.

I scowled.

God damn this perverted, yet extremely sexy Vampire!

* * *

The End

Thanks for reading! I might make a sequel for this, but I'm not sure. Let me know what you think. Also, don't forget to review!


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